


Falling Stars

by team_allen



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Dialogue, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9900143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/team_allen/pseuds/team_allen
Summary: Robert struggles without Aaron. Despite knowing he has no phone and no way to read them, texting him seems the only logical thing to do.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> entered my head at 2am and wouldn't leave! apologises for any OOC-ness and any tense switching. Looked over by Ashley, but all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> started before the recent episodes, so not fully episode related.

**February.**

Robert rolled over for what felt like the hundredth time since he’d climbed into bed. He was exhausted, but every time he tried to sleep, the vision of Aaron flashed in front of his eyes. The look in his eyes and on his face wouldn’t leave him. He reached across for his phone to look at the time, 02:51; he ran his finger across the screen as he stared at the wallpaper. Him and Aaron from their wedding day; just over twenty-four hours ago it was the happiest day of his life…he’d married the man he loved, gained a new family and now, everything had turned upside down.

Twelve months. He couldn’t get the judge’s voice out of his head as he read Aaron’s sentence. Twelve months. 52 weeks. 365 days. How was he supposed to do this? How was he supposed to do this without _him?_

He climbed out of bed and picked up a hoodie off the chair, Aaron’s hoodie, and pulled it over his head taking in Aaron’s scent as he did. He padded downstairs to make himself a drink and couldn’t help but stare at the cards and gifts that were scattered around the backroom; some opened and some that would remain sealed until Aaron was home. He couldn’t open them without Aaron there.

He wandered back upstairs, drink in hand and looked in on Liv as he did, sleeping soundly, her hand clutched to a small bear they’d given her. He slowly pulled the door closed and made his way back to their room. The room that felt way too big for just him. He picked up his phone again and opened his messages, he had multiple unread messages from people telling him they were there if he needed them, but no-one knew what this felt like.

He scrolled to Aaron’s name and smiled at the message Aaron had sent that morning

_“Love you hubby x”_

with a heart emoji and smiling face. It then hit him that would be the last message from him for a year. He wiped away a tear that had started falling, the sleeves of Aaron’s hoodie not quite long enough for his arms and typed a message back

_“I miss you x”_

Robert knew Aaron wouldn’t be able to read it, but it somehow made him feel better. 

**March.**

Two weeks had passed, and it still wasn’t any easier for Robert. He was barely sleeping, barely eating and barely working. He knew he had to, but he just couldn’t. He missed him. He missed his smile, his laugh, his scent…he even missed him hogging the duvet. He just missed _him._

He was sat in the backroom of The Woolpack…TV on low, not that he even knew what was on, and despite there being another hen party going on on the other side of the wall, he had never felt it quieter than it felt now. What would they be doing if Aaron was here? Probably watching some trashy show, or football, Aaron’s choice. He’d be screaming at the ref, while Robert sat laughing at him thinking he knew better, and earning himself a prod in the side and a glare from Aaron. He scrunched his eyes shut, stopping any tears from falling, how he even had any left was a mystery to him. His phone lit up on the table in front of him;

“Liverpool 4 – Manchester United 0”

He smiled. Aaron would love that result. He scrolled back to his texts and clicked on Aaron’s name; his last text to him at the bottom of the screen. He typed another one;

_“Liverpool beat Man Utd 4-0 today x”_

He clicked send, and just like the previous one, the word “undelivered” flashed up. Robert sighed.

**************

He’d finally dragged himself back to work full time, splitting his week between Home James and the scrapyard. Nicola had been surprisingly understanding, something he didn’t expect. He struggled at first, but was slowly getting back to his old work self and charming clients for both companies.

He was struggling slightly with Liv; they’d argued, a lot to start with. Liv snapped at him telling him that he wasn’t her brother and that she’d wished it was him inside instead of Aaron. He wished it was as well. He pulled her into a hug; she apologised and said she didn’t mean it. He knew she didn’t, but it hurt. He’d promised Aaron he’d look after her, and he couldn’t let him down. He _wouldn’t_ let him down. Things got easier after that; they’d spent the day together; they’d been shopping, seen a movie and had dinner out. They both needed it, they both needed to feel normal.

_“Went out with Liv today,”_ Robert typed. _“Went shopping (still not convinced her to buy a dress!), saw the new Beauty and the Beast movie (she’ll tell you I cried, but it was really her), and then food…pizza (I forgot she likes pineapple too…yum! and it totally counts as part of her five-a-day!) It was a good day. I love you xx”_

He hovered over the keypad again and typed

_“I cried x”_

He hit send, put his phone down and smiled.

**April.**

April was hard. He thought seeing Aaron in the flesh would make things easier, but it made things worse. Aaron wasn’t coping well, and it broke Robert’s heart that he couldn’t do anything. He wanted to reach across the table, grab his hand and tell him everything would be okay. But he couldn’t. He got home and hugged Liv longer that day.

Easter soon appeared, and it drummed up memories for Robert of their week at Home Farm. He bought Liv multiple oversized Easter eggs, and they sat in front of the TV devouring one together, Rolo, Aaron’s favourite.

It was getting late and Liv’s head drooped down as she tried to stay awake, before Robert prodded her to go up. She stood in the doorway and threw a packet of Rolos at him, thanked him for the day and left the room. He smiled, the hardest he’d smiled in a long time and picked up his phone;

_“Ate too much sugar and chocolate today, but it’s Easter, it’s allowed right?”_ He smiled even more and he continued typing. _“Liv gave me Rolos. I think she likes me :) x”_

**************

His birthday was weird. He smiled his way through it, grateful for the well wishes, the cards and the gifts, but a big part, the main part, was missing.

_“Liv took me out for my birthday,”_ he started. _“Well, I say she took me out…she borrowed £40.00 last week…and today she gave me a gift card to Forbidden Planet, a card (‘To the best brother-in-law’ it said on the front!) And then took me out for tea. Again, I say took me out…I drove and paid for parking, but everything else was her. Made a right fuss of me…you’d be so proud of her. We both miss you x”_

For the first time, he thought he _could_ do this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apart from Aaron being in prison, it doesn't follow the current storyline on Emmerdale!

**May.**

May was busy. The scrapyard was busier than ever; they were starting early and finishing late, barely taking a break during the day. It helped Robert. It helped take his mind off of Aaron, only for a brief moment because it soon came back. He hated being without Aaron, but he was surrounded by friends and family on the outside…and Aaron? Aaron had no-one, but knowing that as each day passed, it meant he was one day closer to coming home. Robert was one day closer to having him back in his arms where he belonged.

They’d finally started to work on The Mill, just small things to start with; neither of them wanting to make any big decisions without Aaron there.

_“Been sorting stuff at home today,”_ Robert grinned as he typed, it still felt weird calling it their home. _“Nothing major…just got some kitchen stuff, table and chairs, garden stuff and Liv has chosen the paint for her room. She’s gone for light purple. It’s really nice, but let’s see how long she likes it for before she wants it changed! Won’t make any big decisions without you…you wouldn’t mind mustard yellow walls throughout right? ;) love you x”_

He hit send, put his phone down and picked up the paint swatch catalogue next to him and flicked through it. He knew the colours Aaron would like, and had already circled them. He took a picture of the yellow colour and opened Aaron’s messages

_“See, the mustard one is great! Can’t wait to wake up surrounded by it xx”_

He attached the picture and hit send again.

_“Haha, only kidding!”_ He typed again. _“Already circled the ones you’ll like xx”_

**************

The rest of the month went by in a flash, and before Robert knew it, he was driving Liv to the airport. Sandra had been in touch saying she wanted to see Liv. It took some persuading from Robert for Liv to agree to go. They’d formed a bond, that at their first meeting neither of them ever imagined having. She’d hugged him tight at the airport, told him to look after himself and not to worry too much…anyone would think _she_ was the adult. He promised her he would.

_“Liv’s in Dublin,”_ Robert started. _“Sandra rung and said she missed her, took some convincing for her to go, but she said she’s enjoying it. She’s actually text me every day telling me what she’s done. She seems to be having fun, and said we should all go together. She went Sunday and comes back on Thursday; it’s unbelievably quiet without her. Promised me she’d do her homework too…haha! Will believe that when I see it! Miss you and love you so much xx”_

**June.**

June was the month Robert broke. 

And it was over a mug. A mug of all things.

It was a Tuesday morning, the alarm had gone off as usual, he’d stretched as usual, looked over at the empty side of the bed as usual and sighed…as usual. It was strangely quiet. Liv had stayed at Gabby’s the previous night, Chas had scribbled a note to him saying she was at the Wholesalers, Noah was away on a school trip and Charity was no-where to be seen.

He padded downstairs, filled the kettle and put the bread in the toaster, except this time he’d taken out two mugs, two plates and four slices of bread. He’d made one mug of tea, the first two slices of freshly made toast popped up and he had started to pour hot water into the second mug when he stopped. His hand shook as he put the kettle back onto its stand and burst into tears.

It was the first time he’d done that since Aaron had been gone. His hands shook as he tried to calm himself down, but as they shook they knocked against the full mug of tea which went crashing down onto the floor; broken china and scalding tea went everywhere. All Robert could do was cry some more as he slid down the cabinets onto the floor, which is where Chas found him an hour later…dried tears on his face, cold toast peeking out of the toaster, half a cup of cold tea on the kitchen counter and a smashed mug on the floor. She dropped what she was holding, not caring what broke, and rushed to Robert. She pulled him into her arms and hugged him as he burst into tears again. She mumbled in his ears that it was okay to let it out, it was okay to cry and it was okay to _not_ be okay.

He didn’t want her to tell Aaron. He didn’t want Aaron to have the added pressure on him knowing that Robert wasn’t coping and there was nothing he could do. She disagreed. Aaron would want to know, it would kill him to know Robert wasn’t okay. Robert slowly nodded his head, and whispered he’d tell him.

_“So, I kinda had a moment. Your Mum wanted me to tell you when I went to see you, but I can’t,”_ Robert took a deep breath as he typed. _“She said you’d want to know, and she’s probably right, but I didn’t want you knowing and not being able to help. I just fucking miss you so fucking much. I cried over a Goddamn mug of tea this morning. I went to make you tea and toast…pathetic right? For a split second I forgot. I forgot you weren’t here. I forgot that you weren’t lying in bed still, having ignored the alarm. I forgot my own damn husband wasn’t with me. I need you. I need you here with me. I need you to nag me over the little stuff. I need you to nick my aftershave. I need you to leave the cap off the toothpaste. I just need you.”_

**July.**

July was okay for Robert. He’d felt stupid over his mini episode in June. He’d cried countless times, he slept in their room every night, in their bed, surrounded by Aaron’s belongings, but it was a mug that got him. He couldn’t explain it. He’d gone over it so many times in his head, but nothing.

Liv was coming up to the end of the school year. Robert had accompanied her for the final parents evening of the school year, and considering how she’d been at the beginning of the year; she was top of the class in some subjects; art and history in particular. She received glowing reports from all the teachers and Robert couldn’t be prouder. He knew it was difficult for her, not having Aaron around, but he would be proud too. Robert took her out for pizza and ice cream afterwards, repeatedly telling her how proud he was of her and how Aaron would be too. She mumbled how she didn’t want to let either of them down. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the top of the head, before she pushed him away declaring him to be embarrassing her. Robert laughed and smiled, he didn’t care.

_“Liv has ACED school,”_ he typed happily that evening. _“She’s top of the class in art and history! She showed me some of her art; it’s amazing, and SO detailed! Should get her to decorate the house! You’d be so proud of her, and I know she can’t wait to show you everything. We got pizza and ice cream afterwards (I can already see you rolling your eyes at me! She deserved it!) and I embarrassed her apparently…some things don’t change. Come home soon please. Love you x”_

**************

Robert took Liv away for a few days at the end of July. She had never been to London before and had always wanted to. They spent the days doing everything touristy they could think of and snapped multiple silly selfies everywhere they went. Robert spoilt her with whatever she wanted. He’d missed out on a lot of Victoria growing up and had regretted it; he wouldn’t do the same with Liv.

She had gone into another tacky gift shop and left Robert waiting outside. She soon came out, plastic bag in hand, told Robert to close his eyes and open his hands before handing him a t-shirt that said **“My sister went to London and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”** Robert laughed and smiled as he read it, and she pulled a matching one out of the bag, gave a slight shoulder shrug and said she’d got one for Aaron too. It was tacky, it was lame, but it was perfect.

_“Been in London for a few days with Liv,”_ Robert typed that evening when back in his room. _“Seen all the sights, ate too much, spent far too much, but it’s been worth it! She got us matching t-shirts :) going back home tomorrow, got a delivery coming to the house. Sorry for the photo spam you’re gonna get in a bit…just a few of the selfies (I still hate that word!) we took. Love you x”_

Robert sent Aaron 10 selfies they’d taken, including some with a Snapchat filter, which was a whole new experience for him!

_“Told you I’d spam you! Liv used an app on some…Snap something? I look quite good as a dog haha xx”_


End file.
